Monday, April 6, 2009

Being a mom

I struggle every day being a mom; or rather being what I believe a mother should be. I set high expectations and find myself failing on a regular basis! And choosing to become a foster mom makes me believe that I truly am a glutton for punishment, AND my suspicions that I am crazy are definitely confirmed! This is the hardest thing I can remember myself actually agreeing to ... taking in someone else's child, who most likely had some sort of problems at home. And a newborn at that! Newborns tend to suck the life right out of you, with the lack of sleep and the constant crying and feeding and spitting up and ... the list goes on and on. Add a one and two year old, and it is a recipe for disaster.
For the last three weeks, our lives have been turned upside down. There are times I find myself yelling shut up at a 2 month old! "It is only gas, for christ's sake!" There is a switch that you have to actually choose to leave in the off position, or else something might break loose and wreak havoc. As a family, we have decided that fostering newborns is not in the cards at this moment... it has not been a completely negative experience, but finding something positive is kind of hard too. (And I am only talking about me and my family. We know that Noah has had positive experiences being here, and we take care of him the best we can!) It has just been a pretty hard transition. I am so grateful to have friends that have been there and done that, and assure me that three kids is very hard!
I absolutely love being a mom and would do anything for my kids. They mean the world to me, but there are also times when I want to jump out the window!


Jill said...

hang in there, you are doing a great thing for Noah. If he could say "thank you" he would.

Michelle said...

You and your family are awesome! I have one child and still feel like jumping out the window sometimes so don't be so hard on yourself ;) Dean and I are taking foster parenting classes this summer while I'm not in school. We hope to adopt one day and thought fostering would be a good route to take prior to adoption; there are so many kids in our area that need a temporary, if not permanent home. I love your website, it is so nice to be able to keep up with you guys. Miss and love you,


Cynthia said...

Awww Brooke. Your family is doing such a wonderful thing...helping our future generations be the best :) I can't imagine, but know that you are amazing!!