Being a mom

I struggle every day being a mom; or rather being what I believe a mother should be. I set high expectations and find myself failing on a regular basis! And choosing to become a foster mom makes me believe that I truly am a glutton for punishment, AND my suspicions that I am crazy are definitely confirmed! This is the hardest thing I can remember myself actually agreeing to ... taking in someone else's child, who most likely had some sort of problems at home. And a newborn at that! Newborns tend to suck the life right out of you, with the lack of sleep and the constant crying and feeding and spitting up and ... the list goes on and on. Add a one and two year old, and it is a recipe for disaster.
For the last three weeks, our lives have been turned upside down. There are times I find myself yelling shut up at a 2 month old! "It is only gas, for christ's sake!" There is a switch that you have to actually choose to leave in the off position, or else something might break loose and wreak havoc. As a family, we have decided that fostering newborns is not in the cards at this moment... it has not been a completely negative experience, but finding something positive is kind of hard too. (And I am only talking about me and my family. We know that Noah has had positive experiences being here, and we take care of him the best we can!) It has just been a pretty hard transition. I am so grateful to have friends that have been there and done that, and assure me that three kids is very hard!
I absolutely love being a mom and would do anything for my kids. They mean the world to me, but there are also times when I want to jump out the window!